writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Sunday, October 22, 2006


come to Students for Staff's public event!

who: Workers, Faculty Members, and Public Officials
what: Speak out about wage disparities on our Miami University campus.
why: Because poverty is a growing problem in our local community, and this is just one small step toward absolving the issue.

come, bring your friends and family, and meet some fantastic open-minded people, and

Thursday, October 19, 2006

how to define me?

Stephanie Lee --


A person who is constantly high

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at

Sunday, October 08, 2006

wish list

so my 21(!)st birthday is coming up in december. and i've been trying to think of what i really want.

i really do hate birthdays, especially my own. i hate the idea of buying presents to celebrate another year older. it seems so silly, like, 'hey, congrats on making it one more year. we didn't think you'd get this far. hey!'

and i mean, i suppose life is something to celebrate, but i always feel more like birthdays are celebrations of non-deaths. but i guess that makes sense: you need the reminder of one to remember the other.

anyway, i hate asking for stuff. i hate owning stuff. i hate that i have to have certain things to make me happy. such is the horrible situation that living in a capitalist society creates. again, that dualism that makes the world work. life=non-death. remembering that i'm living in a capitalist society always makes me want to kill myself...

so anyway, i've been thinking of things to ask for because this is my very last milestone birthday. and last year, i asked my friends and family NOT to give me gifts. i hate buying gifts for silly occasions, so it seemed like a magnanimous thing to do, asking others not to repeat the dreadful cycle for my sake.

but this year, unfortunately, there are things, material things, i want for my birthday.

for one, a FLASK, for toting potent potables. this is especially necessary at miami. sometimes i don't know how i get thru the day...

for another, ADOBE PREMIERE. i want to do some sweet film editing stuff, but apparently i need this first. and since adobe is not freeware (and thus not nearly as cool) i have to buy it. but since i am currently working for sub-minimum wage, i can't afford it. so, unquellable sadness. :-(

so many books and movies. i don't have a social life any more so i need the literature and cultural texts to keep me alive.

an EXTERNAL HARDDIVE. for keeping music and film work on, so i can continue working on film shorts without crashing my computer.

a HAT.

THIS SHIRT. i effing love swedish bands. and the knife are one of my absolute faves.

the perfect SWEATER VEST. i still haven't found it yet.

and of course, WORLD PEACE,
a date with JENS LEKMAN,
a STOP to global warming,
NO MORE hunger,
a LIVING WAGE and RESPECT for all workers,
a CURE for every disease and cancer,
an END to capitalism,
and etc. and etc. ad infinitum...

so, if any of you are feeling particularly generous this holiday season, you know what to do.

alternatively, if you are in the oxford, ohio/lexington, ky/wales, uk area the day after christmas, come find me. i'll be the one moping around the bar. buy me a drink won't you? and wish me a happy 21st birfday.

life and a pocketful of greasy (poker) chips.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

this must be a record...

attention, attention:

for the first time EVER (as far as i'm aware) i am DONE with a group project BEFORE the very last minute.

and without my stress levels shooting through the roof. and no all-nighter or frustrating group interaction was involved.

who would have thought that working with 5th year male business majors could be so refreshing? and so pleasant?

ah, blissfully done with work tonight.

i'm gonna have a beer and watch a movie!

do not download the new iTunes

it is fucking.


Monday, October 02, 2006


some spam for your enjoyment:

A chain saw The photon

Furthermore, a short order cook beyond the bartender wakes up, and a college-educated blithe spirit secretly admires a traffic light. For example, the treacherous dolphin indicates that a mating ritual can be kind to a linguistic mating ritual. Indeed, the federal crank case makes a truce with a girl scout. Most people believe that a skinny polar bear dances with another wheelbarrow beyond a short order cook, but they need to remember how almost a twisted submarine gets stinking drunk. A CEO from the ball bearing avoids contact with a skyscraper from a jersey cow. Now and then, a prime minister finds subtle faults with the warranty. A blood clot is resplendent. Furthermore, a carpet tack starts reminiscing about lost glory, and a tripod often throws a wedding dress toward a grain of sand at a blithe spirit.

Now and then, a prime minister finds subtle faults with the warranty. A blood clot is resplendent. Furthermore, a carpet tack starts reminiscing about lost glory, and a tripod often throws a wedding dress toward a grain of sand at a blithe spirit. A steam engine defined by the prime minister ruminates, but an accurately tattered garbage can inexorably plays pinochle with the hockey player living with another eggplant. The spartan squid plays pinochle with another slow defendant. An asteroid rejoices, and the dolphin toward the sheriff pours freezing cold water on a green cough syrup. A cargo bay greedily operates a small fruit stand with the apartment building behind a hockey player. The linguistic hockey player is usually spartan.

Now and then, a prime minister finds subtle faults with the warranty. A blood clot is resplendent. Furthermore, a carpet tack starts reminiscing about lost glory, and a tripod often throws a wedding dress toward a grain of sand at a blithe spirit. A chestnut

A slyly self-loathing microscope self-flagellates, because a photon related to another insurance agent operates a small fruit stand with a plaintiff. The warranty ceases to exist, and the carelessly impromptu tornado ruminates; however, some pompous scythe buries a paycheck beyond a bottle of beer. If the food stamp over a mortician finds lice on the spider, then a jersey cow around the insurance agent reads a magazine. When you see a scythe near a traffic light, it means that a chain saw trembles. A defendant beyond another grain of sand is worldly. The mitochondrial power drill wisely competes with the usually highly paid globule. The skyscraper of the bartender flies into a rage, because a precise girl scout throws a phony chestnut at a spider. Indeed, a girl scout near the recliner laughs and drinks all night with the girl scout related to a fairy.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

!@#$%&* = my thursday nights

okay, a little rant and then to sleep...

so, i finally got away from the radio station. as in, they finally let me quit my shitty thursday night shift, a shift which came right after film class, meaning no rest, no dinner, and late nights, and having to listen to HawkTawk (augh...) and the impossibility of work or play. not a huge deal, but i was really glad to get my thursday nights back. especially due to my recent ailment.

anyway, i was milling around trying to get various things done: laundry, reading (i picked up a sweet book for an EDL 761 class that i've been wanting to read so much!!), showering, eating, relaxing and then getting in the right mood to finally take my much-needed meds (i've put it off due to the drowsy side effects, which i've needed to put off b/c of all the work i had)

one thing about my thursdays is that i am also supposed to work at the writing center on those days, which sucks, for a number of reasons, many of them which i will expound upon now...

ok, there are these two ppl who have really been pissing me off (and here's the cat out of the bag with a rabid mrooooooowr: Nate Smith and Alle Foster. if you work or study at miami, and i'm sure at least one of you out there does ;-), you can look them up and understand...) they are dating, obviously. the weird thing is that nate, i swear, liked me last year. or at least, there was a period of time in which he spent an unjustifiably lot of time with me when he should have been with alle and i could have been with my significant other of the time.

anyway, it was awkward b/c he would want to hang out and read poetry to me and go out to eat and stuff, and it was this intimate stuff that came out of no where that bothered me mostly b/c it blindsided me and made me awkward (does he like me? is he cheating on his girlfriend with me? does alle know? W. T. FFFFFF????!!!???!?) it all made me very uncomfortable, and now that i think about it, this all seems so unnecessary.

but nate and i were friends of sorts. he gave me food and stuff and we talked about all sorts of things, and oddly, we would talk about our own relationships (me about justin, him about alle. though what i got out of it was that he and alle had hit a rough spot and were trying to break up, albeit unsuccessfully). we also chatted over the summer and made plans to discuss our reading and writing, and he promised to teach me the guitar (liar. bastard.)

recently though, nate and his gf have been acting awfully strange around me. they have been really rude and have been ignoring me on purpose or going out of their way to avoid me. nate, for example, changed his shift on thursdays at the writing center so we wouldn't be in there at the same time. and on my first thursday, when i showed up late due to the station, he left a mean note on the door that said "the center had to close early because the WORKER that was supposed to be here wasn't. sorry. -nate" and when i emailed him later to apologize, he ignored me. and then when things get worse, and he and his girlfriend are both in the center ignoring me, i wrote him an email:

hey nate.

so, do you have a problem with me or something?

because if you do, you should just talk to me about it, rather than skirt the issue and continue avoiding me. it makes things weird, you know?


he ignored that also.

so now, i've given up trying to understand the problem, and am content to let them hate me for reasons i am unaware of (i believe i was the victim of HIS advances, and not the other way around. i certainly did NOT reciprocate the feelings.)

well, this all relates to my thursday night because instead of lying in bed, watching films for film class and finally taking those muscle relaxants, i was working until 1:30 am in the writing center, tryig to grade all the thirty something first year midterm papers BY MYSELF because alle and nate "had to run" and go back up stairs to her room (which, btw, is right next door to my dorm room) and proceed to hang out the rest of the night, while i, neck braced and wincing with muscle spasm pains, suffered through the worst evening of work in recent memory.

so, in light of the evening i just had:


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

so there was cause for concern

it's called torticollis

and according to my school's student health center, it's stress-related.

o good. one more thing to stress about.

spacing out with the help of muscle relaxants