blOgbuefi

writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Friday, July 08, 2005

battling inertia is the hardest part

so... no visitors yet. well, it is only the first couple of days since i've gotten this thing started, but still, i'm a little saddened by it.
you know, it's almost selfish of me, but one of the things that really bothered me about my last attempt was the lack of readership. i mean, i could lie to myself and say that it's really not about getting comments or attracting a fan base or anything like that. it's really about voicing my opinion and getting my ideas out there and about the beauty and fulfillment of creation and releasing those inner ideas to the public. but honestly, who am i kidding here? it's all about getting a readership. cause let's just be honest here, ok? without an audience, art might as well not exist.
i am creating and generating these ideas for an audience. i want my stuff to mean something. without affecting change, without having my ideas and feelings and creations digested, they might as well not exist. we're fighting solipsism here. i need for them to be torn apart and ripped into and chewed dry, or they will go stale.
creation without communion is naught.

well... perhaps i am being too extreme. perhaps there is some joy and release and solace to be found in generating something, even if it is never shared. all about catharsis, right? intrinsic instead of extrinsic motivation, that's what i should be striving for. maybe after a while i will forget about my preoccupation and concern about readership and audience. maybe i will eventually begin creating these things just for me. but whatever...

2 Comments:

  • At 10:09 PM, July 09, 2005, Anonymous Obrycki said…

    If I write a poem for myself, and no one reads it, does it matter? Yes, for it has shaped myself.
    If I cry by myself, and no one hears, does it matter? Yes, for I am dealing with pain or happiness, but no one else will know the difference.
    If I laugh while running, and no one sees, does it matter? Yes, for it is brightening my world, but whether it is a joke or pure joy, no one else will know the difference.

    "L'essential est invisible pour les yeux."

    Party On

     
  • At 5:34 PM, July 11, 2005, Blogger Ogbuefi Stephi said…

    oooo... well, yes, i understand your point. and thank you! for being my first commenting visitor!

    though i appreciate the point, i still believe audience is one of the most important, irreplaceable parts of art. without the audience, the artist (and the art) does not exist *outwardly*. sure, expression is expression is expression... but i aim to do something more than simply soothe my inner tormenting. i want it to speak to the human condition and reverberate with others. i already know how i am feeling. and though it feels nice to get it down into words, it's really the *sharing* that does it for me.

    appreciate the comment though. really. and i dig the little prince reference. did i put that in my list of favorite books? well, i meant to, even if i didn't. reread that this summer. quite the enjoyable read.

     

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