blOgbuefi

writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

religious epiphany

visiting old churches is always a bittersweet experience.
it's sobering,
makes me serious
and aware of such suffering
and closed-offedness,
isolation and austerity,
discipline and penitence.
conjures the dead,
an awareness of mortality.

all these passed away persons and figures
now fixtures in stone walls,
foundations for the church.
all the blood and vinegar of history
and all that coersion and conquering to establish religion,

so churches could be built
for intruding visitors like me
to feel spooked,
uncomfortable and itchy,
unworthy, hedonistic and selfish.
feeling like a tourist

waiting for the charms of songbirds to rescue me
through these heavy walls
and searching for the sun
to point me in the direction
in which to run away.

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