writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Sunday, December 18, 2005

lucid reverie(s)

i had the most intense dream last night.
a friend asked me to go to a concert and when i said i couldn't go my friend dematerialized and i was suddenly on a hill in rumpke towering over the surrounding city and all i could see was the candy store i never went to as a kid.
and his friend was there with faceless people i didn't recognize and they were telling me how fun it would be and i was a fool not to go (i know i know) and they wanted to eat steak and milkshakes and they were all mad at me but i couldn't figure out why.
then i broke into some abandoned warehouse or supermarket (to get them steaks i think) and i suddenly realized i had walked into the midst of another break-in, and there were masked robbers holding old ladies and children at gunpoint and i didn't know what to do. i thot it absurd that of all the times i decided to go to buy groceries, the one time i needed to be quick i was in a hold-up. so i tried slowly turning around to ease my way out the door, so i could get away, but they saw me anyway and they dragged me in with the others and trapped us in some large cage made from cardboard.
somehow between this and the next thing all the other prisoners died or disappeared, and i could still see my friend's friends outside and i kept thinking about how i was disappointing them, but i was stuck inside this giant cage and there were people outside who wanted to kill me, and i could see my captors through the bars and they were sifting through the ice room, the walk-in fridge where all the meats would be.
and somehow i slid through the bars without them seeing and managed to hide behind stacks of drinks and bulk foods and they were now hunting for me. i don't remember the details any more, but i remember engaging in some sort of grocery store warfare, with a pellet gun of some kind and i remember bleeding from ice shards that had been thrown at me.
and the war continued into the basement of this building, which was a fantastic maze. and it was a race against them and time as i was running everywhere trying to find a way out. and all i remember now is the stone staircase that continued in decreasing spirals so by the time i was at the bottom i was small and practically at the core of the earth. and i was digging i think and it was frantic i seriously thot i would die if they found me.
and suddenly i ran to a window and it couldn't have been wider than a foot but somehow i fit thru it anyway and i ran outside and it was light now and my friends had gone to the concert and they told me i had missed a really good time.

in other news:
my brother's changed a lot since i last came home and it makes me sad because he's become an unfamiliar adolescent boy and he's using all this aftershave and cologne and stuff and i can smell it everywhere, it just saturates everything.
it makes me think of the one time i was in my friend dylan's room, he's a CLA, and we were watching a movie and a group of his freshman residents were standing outside the door talking and spraying axe bodyspray and it was coming in thru the door and dylan had to yell at them to stop it because it was smelling so bad.
so my dad (funny guy that he is) told my brother not to use so much because some people might get "offended."
i thot that was just about the most hilarious thing i've heard my father say in a while.


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