blOgbuefi

writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

losing myself (a post for my friends)

hello friendly readers.

i want to apologize for my neglect lately. since i found youtube, i've been spending all my time doing that instead of writing, which i find unhappy-ing.

because there's something so much more rewarding about putting yourself into a piece of writing, the act of careful attention and parsing of thought into word onto page that makes it so much more sensual and soulful and dear to me. it's about taking the time to communicate to an anonymous reader, who will grant you the time and care and attention to still time and abandon other cares, simply to devote their mind and heart to you and your voice.

writing, more than any other art form, is about sharing, about giving yourself to strangers. and loving them and allowing them to love you back. for more than a pretty face or a moment of fleeting entertainment. it's sharing lifetimes and life experiences and delving to understand the conditions of humanity, to commune with another human being on what can be an incredibly desolate earth.

so i want to thank all my friends in this blogging community i have stumbled upon, and thank you for saving me.

the problem with things such as youtube is that it is simply too easy to make the connections we strive and struggle so hard to make thru the written medium. you take a five minute video of yourself in your jammies and upload it to the internet and suddenly it's a hit and people from all over are asking to be your friend. it can happen overnight.

but it took me one entire summer to develop a respectable place in the blogging community, and only thru the help and linkage of my friends. were it not for them, many current readers probly wouldn't have found my little place on the net. and my words would have drowned in all the thousands of other posts published daily.

and it's taken me until now, about a year ago, to establish my voice and cause on the web, the purpose and force behind the things i write...

i am a person. simply and wholly. just like you or anybody. i'm just a person, trying to find my way in this world. trying to find a way and a place and a me to be.

and it's hard. it's not always easy. but the difficult path is the one that sustains me.

thank you to those who remind me what it is i need to survive. thank you for reminding me how much i love to write, how much i need it, how much it makes me, how much it has made me.

thank you... for saving me.

seul votre,
o.stephi

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