writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Monday, July 24, 2006

something new

i tried to post a link, but apparently nothing about this has broken out on the internet yet, as google didn't turn anything out...

anyway, i'm really scared.

i'm serious, i can't sleep, i'm too afraid to sleep.

i was watching the local news tonight when the reports came on, about four separate incidences on I95 and I90 involving gun fire from a suspected sniper that killed one driver and wounded others in southern/south-eastern indiana, on the freeway between indiana and chicago.

the same path my parents will be taking tomorrow to visit me in chicago.

oh God i am so scared. i just have this horrible feeling and i don't know what to do...

the police "have reason to believe there will be more" and i am so worried my parents might get caught in it.

i know it might seem silly but i have this horrible feeling.

i have been doing the weirdest things since i moved to chicago. i've always been a morbid pessimist in regards to things such as this. i always remind myself of murphy's law when i leave the house, and brace myself for anything to go wrong. it's kinda a sick obsession, where i think that if i prepare myself for it, i won't be so surprised when it comes and will actually find some sort of peace. i figure, if i expect it, i can focus on finding some peace and reflection before my time.

but i don't know how to prepare myself for this. i really hope my parents make it all right. i tried to convince them not to come, and i could tell they were genuinely frightened to come. i just hope they are all right and that nothing happens. i am so scared...

please, i don't normally do this, but i ask that all of you who read this please pray for my parents' safety. i don't know what else to do. i just hope and pray they will be all right.

they are all i have and i love them so much. i don't know what i would do without them, i just can't imagine a life without them. i regret every horrible thing i have ever done to them and every stupid thing i have ever said. if they could just know that and if they could just be safe and happy, i would be content to do anything to ensure that.

please, whatever you believe in, however you make sense of the things that happen in this world, save a thought and a hope for my parents.



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