writing to know, knowing thru being, being for writing... this is me, writing about the one thing i know, which is myself... and even that is sometimes a mystery...

Thursday, September 28, 2006

!@#$%&* = my thursday nights

okay, a little rant and then to sleep...

so, i finally got away from the radio station. as in, they finally let me quit my shitty thursday night shift, a shift which came right after film class, meaning no rest, no dinner, and late nights, and having to listen to HawkTawk (augh...) and the impossibility of work or play. not a huge deal, but i was really glad to get my thursday nights back. especially due to my recent ailment.

anyway, i was milling around trying to get various things done: laundry, reading (i picked up a sweet book for an EDL 761 class that i've been wanting to read so much!!), showering, eating, relaxing and then getting in the right mood to finally take my much-needed meds (i've put it off due to the drowsy side effects, which i've needed to put off b/c of all the work i had)

one thing about my thursdays is that i am also supposed to work at the writing center on those days, which sucks, for a number of reasons, many of them which i will expound upon now...

ok, there are these two ppl who have really been pissing me off (and here's the cat out of the bag with a rabid mrooooooowr: Nate Smith and Alle Foster. if you work or study at miami, and i'm sure at least one of you out there does ;-), you can look them up and understand...) they are dating, obviously. the weird thing is that nate, i swear, liked me last year. or at least, there was a period of time in which he spent an unjustifiably lot of time with me when he should have been with alle and i could have been with my significant other of the time.

anyway, it was awkward b/c he would want to hang out and read poetry to me and go out to eat and stuff, and it was this intimate stuff that came out of no where that bothered me mostly b/c it blindsided me and made me awkward (does he like me? is he cheating on his girlfriend with me? does alle know? W. T. FFFFFF????!!!???!?) it all made me very uncomfortable, and now that i think about it, this all seems so unnecessary.

but nate and i were friends of sorts. he gave me food and stuff and we talked about all sorts of things, and oddly, we would talk about our own relationships (me about justin, him about alle. though what i got out of it was that he and alle had hit a rough spot and were trying to break up, albeit unsuccessfully). we also chatted over the summer and made plans to discuss our reading and writing, and he promised to teach me the guitar (liar. bastard.)

recently though, nate and his gf have been acting awfully strange around me. they have been really rude and have been ignoring me on purpose or going out of their way to avoid me. nate, for example, changed his shift on thursdays at the writing center so we wouldn't be in there at the same time. and on my first thursday, when i showed up late due to the station, he left a mean note on the door that said "the center had to close early because the WORKER that was supposed to be here wasn't. sorry. -nate" and when i emailed him later to apologize, he ignored me. and then when things get worse, and he and his girlfriend are both in the center ignoring me, i wrote him an email:

hey nate.

so, do you have a problem with me or something?

because if you do, you should just talk to me about it, rather than skirt the issue and continue avoiding me. it makes things weird, you know?


he ignored that also.

so now, i've given up trying to understand the problem, and am content to let them hate me for reasons i am unaware of (i believe i was the victim of HIS advances, and not the other way around. i certainly did NOT reciprocate the feelings.)

well, this all relates to my thursday night because instead of lying in bed, watching films for film class and finally taking those muscle relaxants, i was working until 1:30 am in the writing center, tryig to grade all the thirty something first year midterm papers BY MYSELF because alle and nate "had to run" and go back up stairs to her room (which, btw, is right next door to my dorm room) and proceed to hang out the rest of the night, while i, neck braced and wincing with muscle spasm pains, suffered through the worst evening of work in recent memory.

so, in light of the evening i just had:



  • At 8:17 PM, September 30, 2006, Anonymous remaerdyaD said…

    spam alert

    um, i know it would be non-antisocial of me to bug y'all about how much i sympathize but here is the sadistic bastard spam thing: this post like made me laugh... espeically yer WTF with added F's and the last rant... i think i like rants the way you like email spam poetry ((-: two thumbs up ogbuefi!

    postscript did you see my video? think i might use it on other ppl... btw, some friends really suck fucking assholes like bad butthole pr0n, mai oui?

    anyhoo, gota go on a rant search... plz DEL this spam

  • At 8:21 PM, September 30, 2006, Anonymous remaerdyad said…

    oh crap, just to show you and friends of my true shaden freude, i find your pic with the mean face pretty good too

    feel free to vent on my sorry self!

  • At 5:39 PM, October 03, 2006, Blogger The ZenFo Pro said…

    Have I taught you nothing, woman??? :)

    Never trust the motives of anything at Miami with a penis, or the girlfriends that may or may not, at times, be attached to them. This is the most meladramatic, bullshit excuse for a college community, I swear...

    Lol, can ya tell I've had my own love triangle problems lately? ;)

  • At 9:00 PM, October 03, 2006, Blogger stephan!e lee said…

    psh, tell me about it.

    and hey, i had anything to do with it! he came on to ME and then proceeded to get unjustifiably pissy. i never expressed anything more than a confused annoyance with the whole situation.

    and the only reason it bothers me now is that i come off looking like the villain here, or i feel like it was my fault when really it wasn't! i shouldn't be bent out of shape over this, but they've managed to effectively ruin my evenings.

    why is it always the girl who gets the blame for the wandering infidelities of the male species?!??? hmm?

    the girl needs to wake up and realize that her man is no good and should dump him along with all her problems.

    or at least keep it to themselves and not channel their hatred for each other and the situation onto me.

    and a love triangle? psh, hardly. in this case, it was more like a one-directional line.

    stupid fucker...


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