i really do hate birthdays, especially my own. i hate the idea of buying presents to celebrate another year older. it seems so silly, like, 'hey, congrats on making it one more year. we didn't think you'd get this far. hey!'
and i mean, i suppose life is something to celebrate, but i always feel more like birthdays are celebrations of non-deaths. but i guess that makes sense: you need the reminder of one to remember the other.
anyway, i hate asking for stuff. i hate owning stuff. i hate that i have to have certain things to make me happy. such is the horrible situation that living in a capitalist society creates. again, that dualism that makes the world work. life=non-death. remembering that i'm living in a capitalist society always makes me want to kill myself...
so anyway, i've been thinking of things to ask for because this is my very last milestone birthday. and last year, i asked my friends and family NOT to give me gifts. i hate buying gifts for silly occasions, so it seemed like a magnanimous thing to do, asking others not to repeat the dreadful cycle for my sake.
but this year, unfortunately, there are things, material things, i want for my birthday.
for one, a FLASK, for toting potent potables. this is especially necessary at miami. sometimes i don't know how i get thru the day...
for another, ADOBE PREMIERE. i want to do some sweet film editing stuff, but apparently i need this first. and since adobe is not freeware (and thus not nearly as cool) i have to buy it. but since i am currently working for sub-minimum wage, i can't afford it. so, unquellable sadness. :-(
so many books and movies. i don't have a social life any more so i need the literature and cultural texts to keep me alive.
an EXTERNAL HARDDIVE. for keeping music and film work on, so i can continue working on film shorts without crashing my computer.
THIS SHIRT. i effing love swedish bands. and the knife are one of my absolute faves.
the perfect SWEATER VEST. i still haven't found it yet.
and of course, WORLD PEACE,
THE IMPEACHMENT OF BUSH,
a date with JENS LEKMAN,
ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES,
a STOP to global warming,
NO MORE hunger,
a LIVING WAGE and RESPECT for all workers,
a CURE for every disease and cancer,
an END to capitalism,
and etc. and etc. ad infinitum...
so, if any of you are feeling particularly generous this holiday season, you know what to do.
alternatively, if you are in the oxford, ohio/lexington, ky/wales, uk area the day after christmas, come find me. i'll be the one moping around the bar. buy me a drink won't you? and wish me a happy 21st birfday.
life and a pocketful of greasy (poker) chips.